Today, at Bushwick Country Club, future roommate Mark and myself discussed whether or not we should have a bar (ie, a drink cabinet) in the apartment. We discussed potentially buying cable, perhaps him buying a flat screen, and the excessive drinking that may or may not occur.
Should I be scared or excited?
This is what I’ll be playing tonight. Et tu, America?
- After the opening introductions, from the time Conan appears from behind the curtain until the crowd goes quiet: WATERFALL.
- Joke aimed at NBC executives: take a drink.
- Joke aimed at Jay Leno: take a drink.
- Conan referred to as “Coco”: take a drink.
- Conan waves at the camera: take a drink.
- Camera cuts to Max Weinberg/member of band: take a drink (take two drinks if Max/band member is stone-faced.)
- Conan imitates an NBC executive: take a drink (take an additional drink for every “meow” from the cat.)
- Jay Leno appears during the commercials: take a drink.
- Vancouver Olympics commercial: take a drink.
- Conan does ‘The String Dance’: take two drinks.
- Conan makes his hair move (hands-free, of course): take two drinks.
- Conan speaks Spanish: take two drinks.
- Andy mentions drinking/being drunk: take two drinks (one for you, and one for Andy!)
- Any mention of “peacocks”: take two drinks.
- Classic ‘Tonight Show’ Moment: take two drinks (finish your beer if it’s Conan’s concussion)
- Visited by Triumph/Pimpbot/Preparation H Raymond: take five drinks. (If Triumph, take a drink for every “FOR ME TO POOP ON.”)
- Conan does another ‘Most Expensive Bit Ever’: take a drink for every million spent (round up!) OR finish your beer.
- For every SURPRISE special guest: TAKE A SHOT (if Abe Vigoda, TAKE TWO.)
- Conan/Andy/guest destroys any part of the studio: TAKE A SHOT.
- Will Ferrell removes his clothing: TAKE A SHOT.
- Will Ferrell comes dressed in character (i.e. Robert Goulet): TAKE A SHOT.
- Either Tom Hanks or Will Ferrell serenades Conan with a song: TAKE A SHOT.
- Neil Young sings “Rockin’ in the Free World”: TAKE A SHOT.
- Conan performs alongside Neil Young: TAKE A SHOT.
- Conan cries: TAKE A SHOT, then finsh your beer.
…in order to be happy. Gotta get rid of this baggage I have from my past relationships and just start randomly macking faces of girls on NYC subways. Then again, this is a drunken rambling, and it’s more than likely I’ll revert to my passive, insecure self come this morning.