Lemon gin, cornfields plowed under Cigarettes, Southern Comfort With your friends behind the bleachers It’s my best dance. He’s gonna beat it in the high school gym And it’s almost summer, almost warm enough to swim. Backyards are waiting. He’s got your name, he’s got your number He’s got your name, he’s got your number The sun sets across the parking lot, Walking cool with your friends. Before the rented cops even though you’re innocent. The night is waiting Here he comes, you’re a little nervous Here he comes; well you’re getting up the courage, yeah The music sucks But he’s your salvation Cherry lip gloss, and you’re what he’s tasting, yeah Yeah yeah yeah You’re in his car getting high Pair of fuzzy dice by the dashboard light Super toke, gets smoke in his eyes Your head is swimming with the anticipation Then suddenly, you’re puking out the door with your pants around your knees But he’s a nice boy so he drops you on your street. You can’t believe it Looks like you blew it He’s got your name; he’s got your number He’s driving away; oh what a bummer yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah So you stumble home But you don’t quite make it You wake up on the lawn Of your next door neighbor’s The sun is warm.
I was bored, so I created a new set of rules for our little social circle:
RATED R (REGULAR) RULES
-If a player (the Icee) is presented with a Smirnoff Ice by another player (the Icer), the Icee must consume the drink lest he or she be excommunicated. -If excommunicated, an Excommunication Sticker is placed on their ID. -For every successful and succinct Icing, the Icer earns one point. -If Iced, the Icee need not bend down on one knee nor chug the drink. However, the drink must be consumed in 15 minutes of the initial Icing. If the drink is not consumed within the timeframe of 15 minutes, there is an infraction of one point. -In order to earn points, there must be a third witness to an Icing or at least proper photo documentation or a signed contract (see attachment). -Players cannot Ice another until 9pm everyday. -Ice Block: If an Icer presents an Icee with a drink, and the Icee has a drink on his or her person, this results in an “Ice Block.” The Icer must then consume both his or her drink as well as the blocking Icee’s drink. Ice Blocking results in 2 points to the Icee. -Ice Shield Card: If an Icee presents the Icer an Ice Shield card, the Icee can legitimately refuse a drink, but must surrender his or her Ice Shield Card to the Icer. Nothing is consumed in this interaction. -At the end of every Sunday, the player who has successfully and succinctly Iced the most players earns the title, The Maestro. -The Maestro, before the week’s end, can be “Buzzed”: he or she can randomly order any singular player to purchase a coffee (before 9pm) or a beer (after 9pm). The Maestro can only utilize this privilege during his or her weekly reign. -The player(s) who receives the lowest number of points each week will be referred to as The Oliver. As punishment, each time The Oliver is Iced, he or she must state, “Please sir, can I have some more?” in a Cockney-British accent. If this does not occur, The Oliver loses one point. -All players’ points are reset on Sunday, however the cumulative points will be recorded. -If an Icer presents a drink to the Icee — and the Icee blocks with a Sparks — the Icer must consume the Sparks (because sparks can melt ice). The Smirnoff Ice is either poured onto the floor (or a sink). An additional 3 points is rewarded to the Icee who has successfully “Spark Blocked” the Icer.
RATED PG (PUSSY GUY) RULES -When Icees (as defined above) are presented an ICEE (Slurpie, Slush Puppy, or frozen equivalent) by Icers (as defined above), they must drink said ICEE in under 3 minutes. ICEEs may be of any size. -PG Rated Ice Blocks: Ice blocks may be performed by Icees if they present an Icer with a same or larger sized ICEE, in which case the Icer has 6 minutes to consume the 2 ICEEs. -Failure to consume ICEE during Icings (under 3 minutes) and Ice Blocks (under 6 minutes) results in R-rated Icings during which all the normal rules of traditional Smirnoff Ice-based Icing apply. -Point distribution is the same as the R-Rated Rules, and points apply to the a player’s overall game score.
What better way to celebrate two big shows at the Wiltern in LA than kicking back around the catering table with some Ice. Here we have lead singer Matt Berninger slamming an Ice courtesy of Kevin French and Ross Flournoy. Below is Matt with better form, but a bit fuzzy.
The Ice didn’t stop with Matt. French and Ross also got the rhythm section brother team of Bryan Devendorf (below) and Scott Devendorf (2 below). We all know the National are cool, but the Ice takes it to new levels.